“I try to be/ think positive but…”
Sound like you?
We all like to be a positive person and are doing our best with what we’ve been given. And you are. But…
If you really want to make lasting positive changes in your life you need more.
More information, more support, more patience, more deeper changes than the occasional thought or positive affirmation to bring the relief, success and happiness you so desire and deserve.
Let’s start with the basics.
You’ve been trained to prepare for life by protecting yourself. Your parents and carers loved you and did their best to keep you safe, unfortunately they also unconsciously taught you to look for the problems in life. They though that forewarned is forearmed and instil this in you from a very young age.
So then you make a habit of looking for the negative stuff so it doesn’t sneak up on you and hopefully will give you time to defend or deflect the problem and ensure your ultimate goal… survival.
It becomes an unconscious habit and an occasional desire for positivity just WILL NOT make the slightest difference.
In fact the failure of this sort of ad hoc, occasional positive thinking will actually work against you by creating a failure you won’t want to repeat.
Sorry but that has to be said and I know it’s a biggie but we really have to start with the truth and then go from there.
So what can be done?
- Acknowledge where you’re at.
- Understand that it’s a process
- Begin a de-stressing program to release the fear and begin to trust life
- Release yourself from the effects of the old training whenever you notice.
- Understand that your mind NEEDS YOUR guidance and direction to stop it running away with all sorts of distractions and making stuff up when it can’t find a good solution. Be a good Captain and take charge.
- Make a deeper connection with your body and emotions; they will guide you through this. Just begin to notice what you’re feeling in your body.
- Keep asking yourself “am I responding from fear or love?” and proceed accordingly. (fear closes and isolates, love opens and connects us to life)
- Find peace by keeping it simple and not engaging in unnecessary drama or power plays, especially in relationships.
- Know that you are always safe and loved and stop scaring yourself so you can start living and stop waiting for something bad to happen.
- Have some fun, engage your child like playfulness to smooth out the bumps and give you a lift.
Now you’ve read through these, take one or two and focus on them every day. Make it a priority. Write it down, tie a ribbon to something, and make a mantra. What will it take?
You are the biggest influence in your own life… use that.