I wrote this poem after being blind-sided by a “friend” who cut me out of her life after creating a deep friendship. She then plastered her side of the story publicly all over social media and amongst our friends. I responded privately through this poem. It gave me the freedom to unload & express just for myself. I share it now that you may also release any injustice or hurt, perhaps you were never given the chance to clear the air or say your bit.
It’s never too late and it’s ALWAYS just for you.
Illusion and the sworded pen
Oh the pain…Oh the pain…
My hear breaks with the pain
This one I called a friend,
The beautiful strong amazing being
that I see before me
Who comes to me and shares herself
She tells me that she’s got it made…
The things she’s done, the ones she’s met
A plethora of past I bet!
But what of now,
this moment is
the only place where power lives
the past is gone
of no regret
to move on now we have to get
the courage and the vision
to see beyond the veil of fear
the mind makes up
all types of tricks
to stop us dead
and feed the fish
no fish you say,
well that is weird
for all good people
have them here!!
My goodness me
my don’t you see
that this is just the
Mist and mirrors view.
The truth lies deep
and search we must
to look amongst the bull and dust
To never fear
is now the aim
because we’re coming
just gone to dust
The fairy king that helps we trust?
But now I say
Please don’t blame me
If all around you seems to be
Waaay beyond your courtesy.
To blame and wail
just brings disgust
as others see and know your bluff
The thing that’s worst
is that we know
it is your journey…
All of it…you know?
When I stop to take my lastest breath
I want to know I did my best
I did not sleep
or kid myself
that this little bit was good enough
The aim of life is not to avoid
but to just go
right through the same
to use your mind and be the boss
To rule the roost
But not with force
The bulldozer, the sworded pen
Just simply take your time away.
True power lies when what we choose..
With knowing that we really chose
Your life is yours,
There’s no mistake,
No others woes to own or take
You either choose to own it all
or simply play to keep you small.
The playground of illusion fills
with those who fear to pass the gate
of being all of what it takes.
You’re always loved and truly safe
You’re part of god
You’re what it takes!
To truly live a life of grace,
please take a breath
Please stop and know
if you own it,
the tables turn,
the power flows
Yes even though the ego knows
And tries to suck you back again.
To keep you small
to stop you from ever feeling hurt again!
It’s not the way… it never was
Just think back and see the pain
this way has brought you back from when…
You want to change the world you say
When we all know it’s a power play
The world you want does not exist
but in your dreams
where it just taunts you till you scream..
“you did this to me”
and victimize yourself
within the cage of fear and loss
Your freedom lies so far away
Until you know you really don’t
And when you do
it’s just so clear
that all the time the door was there,
to freedom dear, the one you want
but fear so much beside the want
You sit in quandary getting angry
And feeling worse you just must vent
The ones you love, the ones who stay
Are once again be-sprayed with gunk
The vitriol and uber junk
The words that flow are of the sword
as you express your murky doubts,
the pain just simply takes a break,
the words a temporary glimpse of respite.
The shadows sucked right in again.
To break the cycle takes great strength
The courage to not see events
But stop, no go!
Go to that place
Go through the pain
For it dissolves on impact with
an open heart of ownership
of all you are,
not only this delightful star.
“I Am” you say and then you trust
The love flicks fear right into dust
It takes some guts to own your life
But then of course
You now it’s nice
to slip right back into la la land
for a moment there I thought you had!
Ha ha I thought the note you sent
Out to the world was really meant!
I got real mad, you know I can
I scream and shout
and then I write a thousand letters back
To repudiate the claims,
To set it right and take it back
The pain I feel at your betrayal
The friend I love
The powerful spirit soul of being
Slips to dust before my eyes
as words in haste destroy and void
The awesomeness and possibility
It bursts right there and crack and bucks.
I need a friend who knows its safe,
one I can trust
Consistent with all that I know
to walk a while and share the load
Share the love and share the joy
To see the gifts not just destroy.
And if I own the pain of those words,
I just may find a buried sword
From other times of mighty words
Where I was stuck between these worlds
I have a choice,
To stop and cry
To sing myself a lullaby
I know my truth
Don’t need to share it
Just express the wisdom in it
Turn the power from the pain and simply gather up again
My weakest link
My eyes of sore,
My heart rebuilt this way…I swore
Before this day light dims again
that I am always whole again
My body healed and always strong
My mind made up of where I belong
As I move forth to grace and courage
To do my life as I encourage
All of me to walk the talk
to gift myself with endless freedom
Love and power in my life.
I am the grace
I am the one
who truly owns
what I’ve become!